Decoding Social Anxiety

Table of Contents

What is common to making a good impression on first dates, acing presentations, nailing the impromptu speech dedicated to your loved ones? Self-confidence.

Self-confidence is having trust in ourselves and our abilities. In several ways, self-confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy where a higher level of self-confidence begets situations that reinforce that level of self-confidence. A healthy level of confidence generally leads to positive experiences in interpersonal relationships and professional life.

Low confidence is often a product of Adverse Childhood Experiences(ACE) such as bullying, social rejection, loss of a loved one, physical abuse, sexual abuse, narcissistic abuse, neglect, overprotective parenting, excessive focus on achievements in childhood, sibling rivalry, dark family secrets etc.

Sometimes, a person who has faced Adverse Childhood Experiences in childhood, may develop an elaborate defence mechanism or a “false self”, that makes him/her visibly very confident, but deep down, he/she is extremely reliant on external validation to sustain that “false self”. While the combination of apparent confidence and need for external validation may push a person towards professional accomplishments and a high social status, it can be fairly damaging for interpersonal relationships, health, peace of mind and happiness. True confidence is rooted in internal validation rather than external validation. This kind of inner confidence stems from understanding that we are enough and that we are an end in ourselves and not a means to some other end. This is something that has been expounded in the works of several prominent thinkers and philosophers, most notably Kant, and most religious philosophies. While some of us may initially struggle to see the “intrinsic value” in our “humanness” or sentience, knowing and understanding ourselves will help us love ourselves for who we are. It is often said that in order to truly love someone, we need to know them – the same principle also applies to our own selves.

Unhealthy thought patterns and cognitive distortions such as internalised shame, repressed anger, self-sabotage, poor boundaries, perfectionism and a critical inner voice can also lead to low confidence.

Confidence and social anxiety are often interlinked. Low confidence may make one unable to initiate or sustain conversation, resulting in a possibility of judgement or rejection which could reinforce social anxiety. Social anxiety and performance anxiety includes not only excessive and persistent fear of embarrassment, rejection and judgement but also a tendency to fixate on own standards of perfectionism to feel worthy. Often people with social anxiety or performance anxiety could have a hidden or obvious need for external validation. They become preoccupied with thoughts of how they would be evaluated by others or the impression they leave and often suppress emotional experiences. Self consciousness, impediments in self expression, nervousness, awkwardness, rigidity, lack of spontaneity and difficulty initiating conversation perpetuates this cycle.

In chakra healing, confidence is linked with the health of the solar plexus chakra. Confidence is also positively correlated with vitality, while low confidence also indicates blocks to the “prana” or the life force in the body. Other common issues that could cause low confidence include executive dysfunction, poor body image, codependency, emotional dysregulation, analysis paralysis, addictions etc., a lot of which may also have a connection with our childhood experiences.

True confidence flows from an unconditional love and acceptance of the self. Working on loving ourselves is crucial for having a healthy self esteem and confidence.

Check out our music track with Healing Affirmations for Boosting Confidence, Healing Social Anxiety on The Infiheal App.

Our track “Let Go”composed by Prateek Gandhi.This track will help you with gaining confidence, self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, releasing repressed emotions, healing your inner child, overcoming fear of judgement, trusting the process of life, body image, greater vitality, mindfulness, better posture, better breathing, improving speech, communication, walk and transition to a more active and healthy lifestyle.

Vamsi’s majestic voice in this energetic track “Let Go” will remind you to be in the present moment and to trust the process of life, as everything is temporary, especially your hardships.


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