Some people always seem to have good relationships, while others seem to keep having a bad streak no matter how hard they try. That’s because building and maintaining relationships is a mindset that some people have naturally, while others have to work towards. Sometimes, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) can severely colour your relationship with yourself and the one you subsequently go on to have with your romantic partners and loved ones.
Just as important as finding the right partner for yourself is attempting to become one for your partner. For that, a key ingredient is a healthy degree of self-acceptance and self-love. One does not need to master self-acceptance or attain self-realization to enter a relationship because healing is a lifelong process. However, a healthy degree of self-acceptance and self-love will ensure you can exercise sufficient emotional independence. And you can meet your own needs and give yourself the love and happiness you seek.
True self-love also entails you realizing that just the way you are worthy of love, so is the other person. Self-love then becomes a conduit not just for maintaining healthy boundaries for oneself but also for respecting that of others.
Often, childhood experiences can make you seek out unavailable partners, stay in abusive relationships, and re-enact the relationship dynamics familiar to you. We could fear abandonment and perceive the boundary set by our partner as abandonment, triggering a strong reaction from us. Our reaction could then push away our partner, worsening our fear of abandonment. In this way, we could end up manifesting our worst fears.
Lack of self-acceptance, self-love, black-and-white thinking, insecure attachment styles, projection, defensiveness, codependency, issues related to control and dominance, self-centredness, hypervigilance, assumption of the worst outcome, self-sabotaging tendencies, poor boundaries, fear of abandonment, and fear of engulfment tend to sabotage relationships by affecting our behaviour, body language, and way of communicating with our loved ones.
Subtle shifts in the same can breathe life into our relationships. Several proponents of the Law of Attraction believe that love will chase you once you stop chasing it. There is some truth in it. Working on healing yourself and preparing for relationships is the best thing you can do to attract the right partner and experience harmony in relationships.
Harmonious relationships also require some degree of healthy interdependence. Excessive desire for independence or autonomy may be helpful in professional pursuits but could impede fulfilment in relationships.
Check Out Our Music Track with Healing Affirmations for Healthy Relationships on The Infiheal App.
Our track “Thanks to you!” composed by Prateek Gandhi, will help replace some of these common unhealthy mindsets and behaviours with healthier ones so that you can reach new highs in your loving relationships. Furthermore, aspects such as finding shared meaning with your partner, building a friendship with them, understanding their love language, and learning to “argue better” in your relationships can tremendously enhance your experience
Suppose you are struggling with an abusive relationship. In that case, this will help you recognize relationship boundaries, realize your self-worth and help you take the necessary action for your health and well-being – whether it is standing up for yourself or leaving an abusive relationship. As they say, when you start seeing your worth, you will find it more difficult to stay around those who don’t.
Contemporary love songs often describe codependency, substance abuse, and generally unhealthy relationship dynamics in their lyrics. We have attempted to lay down what a more healthy and stable relationship could look like in our track “Thanks to you!”. This dreamy track, composed by Prateek Gandhi, talks about finding joy in a healthy relationship based on mutual trust, gratitude and loving oneself. These lyrics reinforce the healing affirmations below so you attract more love, harmony and joy into your life.