Lacking Self-Confidence, Are People Born That Way?

Table of Contents

Low self-confidence makes you feel full of self-doubt, be passive or submissive, or have difficulty trusting others.  Sometimes you may feel inferior, unloved, or be sensitive to criticism.  For instance, you cannot feel confident in all the situations, you may feel confident in academics but lack confidence in others like relationships or public speaking.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.”

Low self-confidence stems from various experiences like growing up in a critical environment, being separated from family or friends for the first time, judging themself too critically, or being afraid of failure. So people with low self-confidence often make mistakes in their thinking.

Table of Contents

Self-confidence and Self-esteem

Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. Mostly accepting and trusting yourself along with the sense of control in your life. Lack of self-confidence occurs due to some factors like negligent parents, disapproving parents, physical insecurities, past trauma, anxiety and depression, bad friends, negative self-talk, and comparing themselves with others. The level of self-confidence is different for each person based on genes, cultural background, childhood experiences, and other life circumstances. 

Self-esteem is about whether you appreciate and value yourself. It changes as a result of your life experiences and interactions with other people. Here in the curvilinear model, it is clear that low and high self-esteem can be emotionally and socially harmful to you. If you maintain optimum self-esteem then it is easier to balance the emotional aspects.  

If you have high self-esteem then you will evaluate yourself to be extreme in praising too much or you expect others to do the same. This leads to being overconfident and overestimating your abilities, attributes, and skills. You may suffer from relationship problems, problems with socializing, lack of improvement, and inability to deal with criticism. On the other hand, if you are having low self-esteem then it causes negative feelings, fear of trying, perfectionism, fear of judgement, low resilience, lack of self-care, and self-harming behaviors.

Association of 3rd Chakra to Self-confidence

If you are struggling with low self-esteem, then it has a huge impact on all aspects of your life. It causes the nagging feeling in your relationships, jobs, and daily work.  Sometimes the affirmations and self-help books might not help you. Perhaps it’s time to look into the chakras that help to regain your self-esteem. The third chakra known as Solar Plexus or Manipura chakra located in the navel, and is associated with your self-esteem, self-confidence, personal power, ego, self-discipline, and sense of worth.  It is where your feelings and beliefs about yourself are stored. When your third chakra is balanced, making decisions and acting on them is easy, as you do everything because of your self-love. But when the third chakra is underactive, it does have some negative impacts.

Following are the 9 signs of low self-confidence.

  1. Self-criticism: It is considered a very common sign of low self-esteem, and arises due to poor self-evaluation or self-criticism. In that case, it leads to a lack of acceptance, causing negative thought patterns and beliefs. 
  2. Not feeling confident enough to put across your points: If you are trying to stay in your comfort zone with little risk of failure, it leads to a lack of confidence. In turn, it affects your career and relationship. Therefore, if you want to grow personally and professionally, better take risks and make mistakes. Try to be more curious and expand your horizons. 
  3. Worried too much about what others think of you: Worry is the distorted thought that creates anxiety and negativity. It is the major factor that triggers you to imagine what others might think about you. It will bring insecure feelings about yourself, making you think that your worth depends on the approval of others. Sometimes, it even forces you to be accepted, included, and loved in all situations. 
  4. Seeking approval from others always: It is important to note how often we take approval from others. If it is more frequent, then it means that you are not trusting yourself or your perspective. So, always be aware that you don’t need to take someone else’s approval to feel good about yourself. 
  5. Getting defensive during a debate or discussion: It is better to analyze yourself when you are getting defensive or how often you are pushed into that situation. If you are defensive with your loved ones, it will create a negative environment in your home.  In the same way, if it’s in your workplace, it causes problems with your coworkers and supervisors.  
  6. Giving up too soon because you feel you can’t pull it off: People often consider that there are only a few ways to achieve their target and they give up so easily without trying. Based on this others judge the person is not capable of doing it. It all happens because the person has doubt, fear, lack of self-confidence, and lack of self-belief. 
  7. Not able to take up leadership roles: It is alright when the leader feels a lack of confidence at times. But when it becomes a routine, it causes chaos to the people around the leader, leaving a bad impression about the leader’s ability.
  8. Constantly comparing yourself with others: Don’t ever compare yourself with others. In fact, it will make you feel destructive about your self-esteem and can stop you from learning. You may be too hard on yourself by comparing with others’ abilities. Firstly do consider your uniqueness to stay away from negative influences. 
  9. Being unhealthy and not feeling confident about your physical appearance: Having a healthy body image means identifying your strength and qualities that make you feel good.  Mostly when a person does not feel good about themselves, it turns them down to stay away from friends and family. This causes them to lose their self-confidence and self-acceptance.

Ways to Improve Your Self-confidence

  1. Try to avoid negative self-talk: When you start to convince your subconscious mind that you can’t handle something, then it becomes too hard to do it. In fact, accept yourself for what you are. Don’t expect to be perfect, but try to be more gentle. If you are valued by your friends and colleagues for whom you are, then you must value yourself the same way. Only when you try to lessen the self-judgment and stay mindful will result being self-compassionate. The more you know about yourself, the more you can explain your compassion to others.
  2. Stop asking for approval from others all the time: Everyone has their own ability to make decisions, whether it’s difficult or not. In fact, decision-making will help you to overcome fear and nervousness. It can improve your self-confidence by challenging yourself even under stressful situations. 
  3. Take up more responsibilities that boost your confidence: Try to leave positive feedback and love notes for yourself, so that these notes will make you feel better and will boost your self-confidence.Being self-disciplined is one of the ways to achieve your goals. So prioritize it by giving time to yourself first. By making this a habit, you can work on meaningful goals and thereby boost your self-confidence. 
  4. Don’t back out in putting your thoughts across: You should be ready to face your fears head-on. Always remember that making a few mistakes and moving forward will help to gain more confidence in yourself. 
  5. Start exercising and try to stay fit: A fitness routine can make you feel more focused and encourage you to face challenges. When you do exercise it makes you feel more comfortable in your body and will increase your self-confidence. Moreover, it makes you feel better and stronger, helps to gain a sense of accomplishment, improves your self-image, rejuvenates your confidence, and increases brain power. 
  6. Spend more time accessing your thoughts: You should always be grateful for who you are. Make sure you introspect more about yourself and admire your qualities. This will help to improve your self-confidence. 
  7. Start meditating: Even though you feel relaxed, along with relaxation, meditation is required to boost your self-confidence. It helps you to recognize and accept yourself. Meanwhile, it stops negative self-talk and disconnects you from unhelpful mental chatter that interferes with your confidence.  
  8. Start laughing at yourself and take jokes about yourself more lightly:  It mostly depends on the way you choose to use humor that can cause positive or negative effects.  Laughing at your embarrassment relieves your nerves rather than making you feel threatened. 
  9. Well-defined boundaries:  If you practise setting boundaries then you are supporting yourself in many ways. It helps you to stay away from others’ attempts to abuse you either intentionally or inadvertently. So creating a boundary that reflects your needs will strengthen your self-esteem. Having healthy boundaries with others can help to improve self-worth.
  10. Overcoming trauma: As it takes time to clear the rubble and repair the damage caused by disaster or traumatic events, it will take time to recover from painful emotions and to rebuild your life. But there are some ways to cope with emotional trauma like accepting the feelings, challenging the sense of helplessness, getting moving, reaching out to others, and making stress reduction a priority. 

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Low self-confidence is the root cause of different internal and external experiences like growing up in an unsupportive and critical environment, being separated from friends or family, judging yourself too harshly, being afraid of failure, etc. For internal factors, you can get suggestions from the professionals like counselors and psychologists who help to develop a strategy to build up your confidence. But for the external factors, it’s not in your hands to avoid certain circumstances unless you can set boundaries and stay mindful throughout to make yourself feel more confident.


More Posts

Why we Procrastinate?

Why we Procrastinate? Procrastination affects all of us at some point of time in our lives. But when it turns into a more chronic nature, it starts hindering our capabilities and keeps us from being the best version of ourselves. It limits our ability to be our most productive selves

What You May Not Know About Procrastination

Table of Contents While everyone puts off some types of tasks once in a while, certain people are also known as “habitual procrastinators,” who comprise 20-25% of the population, do so chronically and on almost all the tasks that they are responsible for. They may have a long shopping list

What is self sabotage? Causes, symptoms and therapy

Almost all of us have encountered situations where we are tirelessly working towards a meaningful goal but end up failing spectacularly because of something stupid. This often happens due to the excess stress, anxiety and fear of failure that you encounter while completing that task. The extra pressure that builds

Music Therapy: An Orator To The Brain

“To me, music therapy is performing without self-consciousness. It’s more about empathising than it is about entertainment. You can start to solve an issue if you can utilize music to block out the suffering and get an understanding of how another person thinks.”                                                                                                                          Jodi Lynn Music therapy is the clinical

What is Hypnotherapy and how efficient it is ?

Table of Contents What is Hypnotherapy? Hypnotherapy, also known as guided hypnosis, involves using relaxation and concentrated attention to achieve a higher level of consciousness or mindfulness. In other terms, it induces a “trance” or altered state of consciousness in the individual. Hypnotherapy works by establishing a hypnotic state characterised

Grief Counseling: What is it and how effective is it?

We live in a society where death is somewhat considered to be a taboo. Many people don’t know what to do or to say when someone they know has experienced a loss. Grief is a reaction to any form of loss. It is not only limited to feelings of sadness,

What is expressive arts therapy and how does it benefits you?

Expressive Arts Therapy (EXAT) is based on the philosophy of the Greek word called poeisis, meaning-making or shaping. Human beings often face problems in their day-to-day life because they do not come into an environment to which they are pre-adapted; rather they shape the world around them to fit their

Overcoming Envy| Psychology of Envy and how to conquer it

“I was one of the many people who tuned into the Golden Globe awards ceremony the other day. I am embarrassed to admit that I did feel some pangs of envy as I watched the glamorous celebrities pose for the cameras on their walk down the red carpet. I will

Corporate Wellness – What is it and Why Is It Important?

Corporate wellness programs are constructed to improve employees’ physical and mental health, at its root they are employer-designed plans. The plans may have various events like fitness programs, wellness programs and health coaching. Why are these plans designed? While each program’s aim is to achieve the above two goals, programs

What is a Toxic Relationship? 17 Signs You Should Know

Every Relationship has its own set of ups and downs. But even with their flaws, healthy relationships work better— you feel good as an individual and confront problems with your partner as they arise. A healthy relationship takes you to a better mental space where you feel safe, respected, and

The Root Cause of Anger

Anger is a complex emotion. It is an adaptive response that can help with our survival and can be a way of protecting our boundaries and showing others that any kind of injury to our own sense of worth will be challenged. It could also be a gateway to another

The roots of loneliness​

The roots of loneliness We also stay in touch with our loved ones who are away from us through calls and texts. We start to feel lonely, only when we wish to connect with people but find it difficult to connect or relate to others in an authentic, meaningful, and

The Subtle Art of Letting Go

The process of “Holding On”, or the active principle, has been taught us since childhood. We are told to try harder and work more to achieve our goals. School, workplace, and even economic systems drive into us the value of “holding on”. For many of us, “Holding on” may have

10 Tips on How to Develop Positive Thinking in Life

“Have faith in yourself. You are braver, more skilled than you realize, and more capable than you believe.” Roy T. Bennett What does it mean to think positively? You might think it means looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, dismissing or glossing over the negative aspects of life. On

Trauma and Poor Health

Addressing past trauma can be the most significant contributor to healthier relationships, better self-esteem, prospects of success, and physical and emotional health. Many of us have had imperfect childhoods, being subjected to varying degrees of trauma early into our lives at an age where we deserved to feel safe and

Types of Addiction and How Can Counselling Help Addicts?

Addiction is a chronic, relapsing condition that disturbs the brain of a person. When a person is doing things that are harmful and they are unable to control those certain habits it’s an addiction. Some examples of a habit that may turn into addiction are smoking, alcohol, and gambling addiction.

Understanding Autoimmune Disease

A significant pattern observed over cases of autoimmune diseases is that there is either a high-stress event preceding its onset, like the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, a breakup, divorce, miscarriage etc., or there is an unhealthy pattern of chronic stress or trauma experienced in early

Vishuddhi Chakra: Everything You Need to Know About the Throat Chakra

Vishuddha Chakra or Throat Chakra is the fifth chakra of the system. In Sanskrit ‘Visha’ means poison or impurity and ‘Suddhi’ means pure. Hence this chakra is associated with the purification of the mind and body. It is located at the throat region which is why it is also known

15 Potential Signs of a Healthy Relationship

“Let’s not forget it’s you and me vs. the problem. Not you vs me”~ Steve Maraboli Possession of healthy and positive relationships is one of the most important pillars of authentic well-being. We need to feel connected, valued and have a reliable alliance. Modern-day society is experiencing a relationship crisis—family

Sahasrara Chakra: Everything you need to know about Crown Chakra

Sahasrara chakra or the crown chakra is the final chakra located on the top of the head. This chakra is a mysterious yet beautiful centre of energy. It is the most subtle chakra of the chakra system which helps us to evolve and reach the zenith of the spiritual path.

How to Run Meetings for Different Personalities at Work

Table of Contents Introduction Individual variances in common ways of thinking, feeling, and acting are referred to as personalities. Two major topics in this area are the focus of personality research: Understanding how people vary from one another in certain personality traits, like friendliness or irritation, is one. Understanding how

Mooladhara or Root Chakra

Chakra is the psychophysical center within the body and mind structure. Vritti is distortion or alteration of the originally peaceful state of consciousness or state of mind— longings, desires, emotions, or any kind of  movement away from the original silent state of mind. Chakras perform many vital functions within the

Know Your Therapy: Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy

REBT is a therapy in which the patients learn to recognise, confront, and swap out self-defeating beliefs with constructive ones that support emotional well-being and goal attainment. REBT is used to help people deal with hardship, overcome it, and accomplish their goals. In REBT, patients and doctors collaborate to address

Waking Up with Raga Therapy

Raga Chikitsa or Raga Therapy is a branch of music therapy that uses Raga, a melodic framework for improvisation akin to melodic practices in the Indian classical music, for holistic healing. Certain Ragas are used for stimulation, while others for relaxation. Ragas usually have a preferred Rasa or a mood

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *